Top 11 children's TV shows in my past. Part 1.

TV children's shows aren't good as they used to be. I know they made a remake of an old classic TV show called 'Pinky and Perky' but the remake looks stupid. The computer graphics is not a good idea and the plot seems a little different from the orginal idea, admittedly I haven't seen an episode but the trailer says it all. And they made a remake of 'Dennis the menace' based on the cartoon based on the popular comic strip from the popular comic the Beano, but the voice for Dennis was rubbish, it was so obvioulsy a woman doing the voice. But I still remember the warm glow from classic children's shows, you can't make children's shows like that anymore. So I'm counting down the best children's shows I remembered growing up as a kid, and I'm doing it now while I'm still a teenager before I forget the plots of the shows.

11. Mona the Vampire.
This is a very strange show. It's about a little girl called Mona Parker who has a very active (and creepy) imagination. She dresses up as her alter ego, Mona the vampire, along with her friends Charlie Bones (Zapman) and Lily Duncan (Princess Giant) fighting against supernatural creatures whether they be alien or magical. The funny thing is that we also get to see the reality of the monsters. When Mona thought her mother was being hypnotised by a lizard-like creature, it turns out the creature was actually a very popular singer of a band called 'The Lizzards', it was just hilarious to watch. I put this low on the list because it was kind of disturbing that a 10 year old imagined creepy monsters and ghouls, am I the only one who finds that disturbing? But another reason why it's in this spot is because in an episode when Mona gets a new classmate, she thinks he's an alien, because he had a English accent. I mean, I know she's only 10 and she wouldn't know anything else about foreign places, but the script for the new classmate was just stereotypical. I mean everytime he talks, he says 'pip' in the sentence. English people don't say 'pip' all the time, they might have along time ago but not anymore. Also, when Mona's mum (or mom since she's Canadian)invited the classmate for dinner, he looks at the salad and says "Ewww, what's this?" to the lettuce, she tells him it's lettuce and he says he never had that from where he came from. Yes you do, every country has lettuce, I can't think of any country without lettuce, except for Incas in anicent Peru but I degress. But aside from that, this was an OK cartoon, I clearly recommend it to all of those people with a crazy imagination.

10. Arthur.
It's a Canadian educational cartoon, helping kids learn how to face their problems, boost their self-esteem and trying to help them to learn from their mistakes, using talking animals! The cartoon is filled with anthropomorphic animals instead of humans. What are they trying to say, animals have problems that children have to? Aside from that, it is a good show. Some of the episodes is showing problems, and if you put your minds to it, some of these problems happened to us as well. My favourite episode is when a character gets some barbie doll for a present, but it turns out she already had that present. She enjoyed her party but noticed that her friend Francine wasn't enjoying it, turns out Francine was the person who sent her the second gift of the same gift, and she had to do a lot of work just to get money to buy the doll. That is something a kid would hate; they do a lot of tough work to get money to buy a gift but finds out the gift was already bought and given. To show how popular this cartoon was, they got a lot of celebrity guest stars though some kids don't really know who they are. Here is a quick list:-
Yo-yo Ma - Cellist.
Koko Taylor - Blues singer.
Taj Mahal - Blues musician.
Frank Gehry - Architect.
Neil Gaiman - Novellist and comic book writer.
The Backstreet boys.
Joshua Redman - Saxophonist.
By celebrity guest star do you mean, you kidnapped them? I'm just think it's weird that celebrities volunteered to take part in a cartoon, with their cartoon counter parts with bunny ears or cats ears. Even though the animal theme was weird, it is a good show for children with problems.

9. Power Rangers.
I can't believe I'm typing this up, but I have to be honest, when I was young, I really did like Power Rangers. I liked it cheesy martial arts moves, awesome theme songs and at times, intense storylines. I think the first Power Rangers series I watched might have been Wild Force but I'm just saying that because I can't remember the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I did watch some Power Ranger episodes on YouTube but after finding out about ThatGuyWithTheGlasses, I don't any more. When I was young I always had a fantasy world when I'm always a superhero and I'm better than everyone else. Yeah, I was very arrogant when I was little. Now I kind of have a reality-fantasy world, as in real-life-events-that-I-don't-think-would-happen-to-me world, but I don't imagine myself as a little superhero (not a lot I mean) and I owe all the credit to Power Rangers. I was an adventure seeker, and Power Rangers was the reason for all that. I put this in the number 9 spot because I don't fully remember the episodes, much less the 15 (nearly 16) series, but I do remember some seasons, and it is a little lame at times, but you can feel that the cast enjoyed playing the big (nearly) superheroes.

8. Jackie Chan adventures.
Jackie Chan plays an archeologist (who coincidently knows martial arts) who somehow got into some mythological adventure corresponding with Chinese and sometimes Japanese mythology. It's kind of weird to be honest, his uncle (who's just called Uncle for some reason)knows about magic and such and his niece keeps coming along with him on his adventures. It's funny because he always tells his niece, Jade, to stay behind but she always comes along with him. The show has 5 seasons. The 1st one was when he had to travel around the world to retrieve talismans with the symbols of the Chinese zodiac, each having its own magical power. The 2nd one was when this demon called Shendu is going to unleash his demon brothers and sisters, each with it's own portal but can be defeated by objects that was used by the 7 immortals. The 3rd season was similar to the 1st one but instead of talismans, it was in animals based from the Chinese zodiac. 4th season was Japanese, when they have to collect masks of demon generals called Oni, whoever wears the mask can summon and control different entities called shadowkhan. The final season was almost close to the 2nd one but instead of releasing the demons, the immortal's objects still had essence of the demons they defeated, and whoever had the items start to become more and more like the demons. It was a complete mess, but I liked the fighing moves and the season had very good plot and backstories. But it wasn't just Chinese and Japanese legends, they included Santa Claus (yes, I'm dead serious about that) and Spring-heeled Jack. It was kind of weird, but it's magic, it doesn't really need much explanation on how it happens.

7. Kids Next Door.
It's quite a strange show, about some secret spy organisation entirelly runned by kids (seriously?) who start to fight against bad guys and monsters based upon every kids nightmares and worst enemies. I like the creativity of the villains; the bad guys are teachers, dentists, bullies, doctors and even parents. I didn't understand the major villain, Father. I guess he was supposed to be the embodiement of fathers who force their children to do what the father approves of and not what the kids wanted to do. The monsters are sometimes creepy, like the kids were attacked by large lice that eat hair, nerd-zombies and were-dogs. I think the were-dogs were supposed to be based upon the phrase "My dog ate my homework", ingenious. But what this show had a problem which was Number 1's dad. His dad was English, and as 'Mona the Vampire' failed at, the script was stereotypical. He kept talking like he was an old Victorian, and when he and Number 1 went to England for a visit, all the dialogue from the English characters was terrible, they keep speaking in old cockney accents, when cockney isn't around, and all the phrases that was used along time ago is mentioned. OK, rant time, I know people from England, they don't use phrases like what the characters used, I've been to London, and I never heard those phrases used, WHY ARE THE CARTOONS TALKING LIKE THAT!!?? Anyway, the cartoon was a pretty good show, and in the cartoon movie, Zero, it had a good plot twist in the movie and I highly recommend it to people to watch.

And that's Part 1 over and done with, stay tuned next time to find out what my number 1 children's show is.

Response to Batman: Fortunate son

(This is going to be a brief blog, I just thought of it after some video).
Fortunate son is a Batman comic book about Batman believing that rock 'n' roll and other forms of music is (and I'm quoting here) "Is about death...and crime...and the rage of the beast". If anyone knows about Atop the 4th wall, they probably know that Linkara already reviewed this comic, I'm just trying to empathise Linkara's view of this comic. Music is NOT evil or anything demonic. True, singers in bands take drugs and go carried away just to get more popular in the charts, and even in 1983, heavy metal bands Metallica and Judas Priest had subliminal pro-suicide messages hiden in there songs (I'm not sure if that's true but I never heard their songs so I wouldn't notice). Plus, singers get really crazy like Lady Gaga, I'm mean have you seen her fashion? But what I don't understand is, why? Batman said that before he saw a punk singer who turns out to have killed his girlfriend (the singer's I mean) but that doesn't mean that other music genres are evil!

The singer Izaak Crowe (yes that's his real name)is mad! He keeps complaining that everything should be free! No it shouldn't, as Linkara said, money makes the world go round and yes I agree and it's OK if some things should be free, but not everything in the friggin' world! And also,he thinks that if someone disagrees with you, it's OK to ruin their property and stuff. Yeah...um what if the person who was disagreeing with you was a Prime Minister or a wrestler? And he starts hallucinating and destroys this music studio that was trying to make a music video. What's wrong with music videos? Music videos are used to empathise the singers songs and express there meaning, what the heck is wrong with that!?

But ignoring all that, this line...this one friggin' line really makes me irate. It shows how bad this comic book is by just one line. "Insanity...reverberates in every chord of this music you love..." :0
You can't be serious...you are suggesting that every note and lyric is entirely (and adding the quote in the beggining of this blog)is insane and evil...YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!!!!!! It isn't! Music is like poetry, to express the singers feelings and theories...and you're suggesting it isn't? No, wait, Batman is fictional, it's not the characters opinion, it's the writer's opinion. Well, Gerald Jones (the writer) IT ISN'T!!!! I mean...here is a list of some of the songs from various artists and tell me is these songs insane and evil.

'I am (I'm me)' and 'We're not gonna take it' from Twisted Sister is telling the younger generation to choose their own destiny and not what the parents chose for them.

Pink's new album 'F**king perfect' is telling us it doesn't matter what you look like, whether you are fat or ugly,or you're a freak, you're perfect the way you are.

'Ain't got no...I got life' from Nina Simone is about that if you don't have anything, you still have life and that's more important.

'Firework' from Katy Perry is expressing people to explode from their lonely shell and show their true colours.

WHERE IN THAT LIST DO YOU THINK EVIL IS IN IT!? SO YOU THINK MUSIC IS EVIL GERALD? GET A LIFE DUDE! IT ISN'T, IT'S ENTERTAINMENT AND AT THE SAME TIME EXPRESSES MORAL AND MEANING!!! YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!!!!! Oh, and what about Christian rock, I mean is Gerald also thinking that Christian rock is being reverberated by insanity and crime?

And if my quick list doesn't empathise my (and Linkara's) perspective, here is another list without my explanation to the songs.

'Heaven is a place on Earth' from Belinda Carisle.
'Enough is enough' from Donna Summer.
'It's my time' from Scorcher.
'Don't stop believing' from Journey.
'Dear Mr President' from P!nk.
'Ay Haiti' from various Spanish artists (You might need google translate).
'Ghetto gospel' from 2pac.
'Hallelujah' from Leonard Cohen.
'My mamma said' from Aqua.
'High school never ends' from Bowling for soup.
'Lose yourself' from Eminem.
'Brick by boring brick' from Paramore.
'I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair' from Sandi Thom.
'Worthy is the lamb' from Hillsongs.

Captain Planet

Captain Planet is an American children's TV show which is supposed to inspire kids to care more for the environment. To be honest, the plot isn't half bad. I like the idea of kids with powers beyond belief and use it to fight bad guys. The animation seems pretty standard, I like the idea all the characters are from the centre and the 4 corners of the Earth (how the characters know each others dialect, I have no idea). Now, anyone who knows this show might be thinking that I might be criticising the power of Heart for Ma-ti, but the power to read people's minds and control animals sounds pretty awesome so I won't criticise it so much. OK, I'm being to optimistic for this show, time for my pessimistic side. So, here's the points that annoyed and confussed me.

1. Captain Planet (the character).
The character is the main focus of the show. Combining the powers of earth, wind, water, fire and heart creates some entity with powers of the rings. He is fun-loving, childish and energetic. But he's unbelievably annoying and obnoxious. He makes so many annoying puns that most people would know. And obviously his weakness is pollution (ie oil, smoke and green house gases) which is stupid since stuff like that can be found easily. And I'm glad that it is found easily because you have no idea HOW annoying he is!

2. The Fire ring.
This makes no sense. Everyone (OK most people) know that fire is not a element but a chemical reaction. I know some foreign cultures does mention fire is an element but really, it's not an element. Plus, the ring just shots a stream of fire, if the writer (Ted Turner)wanted to improve it, he should make the Fire ring allow the wielder able to control and conjour fire, rather than shoots streams of fire.

3. How the charcters use the rings.
As we see in the intro, Kwami the leader can make pillars of earth blast out under the enemies. Linka has the power of wind and can conjour twisters and blasts of wind. Gi can can makes water come out from pipes, fire extinguishers, fire hydrants and other things that contain water. WHY CAN'T THEY USE MORE TECHNIQUES FROM THE RINGS?! Think about it! The Earth itself is Kwami's weapon! He can make mountains, earthquakes and volcanoes, that is some power! Gi has water, she has control over oceans which covers 3 quarters of the Earth! She can conjour tsunamis and floods and possibly cause deluges and snowstorms since snow is water. (Speaking of which, since there is water in the air, can't she create water in the air?) And Linka can fly in the air and can make vortexes which sucks away oxygen she can use it to knock the enemies unconcious. YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER THE EARTH, USE THOSE DARN POWERS!!!!

4. Gaia.
Gaia is a protogenoi (primordial god) and is basically the Earth itself, WHY CAN'T SHE KILL THE BAD GUYS HERSELF? She can create earthquakes, tsunamis, landslides, avalances, she can defeat the enemies in a snap, but noooo, she will risk the lives of 5 teenagers instead of do it herself. And, I didn't like the design for Gaia. She looks more like Philyra, the goddess of paper and perfume (yes I'm dead serious). When I think of an Earth goddess, I think of a woman with a dress that looks like it is made of soil or grass, not a woman who wears a purplish-pink dress. I just didn't like the idea. Plus, the plot hole is, if she is a Greek goddess, wouldn't that mean all the other Greek gods exist? I mean where is Pan, Demeter, all the other Earthly and agricultural gods? And, the characteristics of her is completly reversed. Gaia is not a kind goddess, she's the one who gave the sickle to her son, Kronos, and told him to cut his father who was also her husband to death. She was the one who gave birth to the Giants and told them to kill the Olympians. Yeah, I would clearly serve her!!

So thats the points that I didn't like much about this show, OK there are other points of the show I really hate, mainly the AIDs episode when this was for young children, but these ones I really didn't like the points I don't really like about. And I hope know one will decide to make any more annoying Enviromentalist TV show.

Top 5 saddest P!nk songs

Now I have to admit it, I friggin' love P!nk. She is one of the most awesome female singers of all time. Her style, her looks, her music is just unbelievable. She can sometimes be serious, sometimes be upbeat but this top list is about all her saddest songs. Believe me, when she writes a song about sad experiences, she can really emote her songs very well. And don't worry, I'm not going to to mention 'I don't believe you', I know that is a very sad song,in fact, P!nk herself said this about this song.

"The first thing that comes to my mind with I Don't Believe You is me standing in the vocal booth listening... Actually in the control room listening to this song, tears running down my face, just like 'f**k, really?' It's the vulnerable weak side of me that I don't let out very often. And it's [sighs], yeah it's that song. And I love it, I love it. I just love it, it's very near and dear to me."

But that would make the number 1 spot very very obvious. I mean that is a really heart throbbing song. So, here is the list.

5. It's all you're fault.
This song has sad lyrics, my sister really thinks this is a very sad song. And I agree. The lyrics can bring tears to your eyes at times. The chorus is one of the lines that do make me feel sad.

It's all your fault, you called me beautiful
You turned me out and now I can't turn back
I hold my breath 'cause you were perfect
But I'm running out of air and it's not fair

So you might be thinking that if this song has sad lyrics, why is it at the bottom of the list? Well, the rhythm makes you want to dance. It has a wild beat to it. Don't get me wrong, it is a sad song, but the way the music goes makes it sound enjoyable. So, it has a strange mix. But, hey, that's on my opinion.

4. Long way to happy.
This song sounds like a break up song. The song has a very sad rhythm to it. It has depressing lyrics to it which does hurt my heart. Which is another reason why I like p!nk. Her lyrics are always realistic, and she does a lot of effort to make her lyrics rhyme, not using random words. The chorus makes the music go more epic as it progresses.

It's gonna take a long time to love, it's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to, keep on rolling like a stone
'Cause it's gonna be a long, long way to happy

Wow. That is just sad. This is better than any break up songs. OK, songs in 2006 which was the date when it was realeased. So, if you haven't heard this song, my suggestion is play the music loud. Believe me, the music is amazing.

3. Nobody knows.
This song is about P!nk explaining that she is really lonely when she is not performing her songs. The music is slow and steady, but when it goes to the chorus and near the end, the music burst with great pace and rhythm. Now don't try to pay attention to the music but pay more attention to the lyrics. She expresses her loneliness very well, the video is also good. Shows that she is really lonely. So in future, when you hear this song, you will start to figure that she is not always happy.

2. Family portrait.
Another song that my sister (and probably other people) can't stand. And I really agree, the song is about family matters, and no I don't mean the American sitcom from the 90s, I mean problems about parents arguing and leading to divorce. The video starts of with P!nk playing her mother and a little girl lip syncing to P!nk's recording. The annoying thing is I don't know who the girl is playing young P!nk is, she is a good actress when she starts pretending to cry. This song is a very depressing song, and it hurts my heart every time. The song keeps you glued to the video so that's why it's near the number 1 spot.

And the number 1 top saddest P!nk song is...
WHO KNEW.
This song is about a death of P!nks best friend when she was 14. He died by an overdose of drugs, which also explains why we should not make drugs at all! It is a depressing song, and after reading the Percy Jackson series, it is very sad. (OK, in the adventure, a girl called Annabeth befriended a guy called Luke when she was 8, and Luke turns evil, which leaves Annabeth obviously devastated.) The chorus is different at times, the first and last chorus was,

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
'Cause they're all wrong
I know better
'Cause you said forever
And ever, who knew?

but for some reason the chorus in the middle is,

When someone said count your blessings now
For they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
But they knew better
Still you said forever and ever
Who knew?

I don't quite know why she added a different chorus in the middle, but I don't care. The song is heart throbbing from beggining to end, if you know it's backstory or if you read and was a fan of the entire Percy Jackson series.Plus, don't listen to the video, yes it is also sad that video but the live one is better because she actualy emotes the lyrics with great effort. Who knew, the saddest song apart from I don't believe you.

And that's the countdown, I hope you enjoyed it and I promise to make more blogs, preferably longer ones with more effort.

Hercules

Yes I know, everyone loves this film, and I like it to. The animations is beautiful and it's vastly entertaining and I like the way they say and outcast can achieve something.. But it's the completely different from the myth of Hercules (or Heracles since that's what he's really called)so I'm going to type the bad points of this film. Boy I'm going to get a lot of bad commentary.

1. Hercules isn't the son of Zeus and Hera. (Or Jupiter and Juno since Hercules is Roman)
This is the big mistake. Zeus was Hercules' father but his mother was a mortal called Alcmene. He was born a demigod. And everyone says Hera tried to kill him several times, so I guess they are trying to avoid the fact his step mother tried to kill him several times, but now they are saying his MOTHER tried to kill him several times.

2. There was thirty-four titans.
In the film they said there was four titans, but there were more than four. Prometheus, Atlas, Kronos, Epimetheus, Metis, Rhea, Krios, guess which one of the titans are mentioned in this film. NONE OF THEM! They decided to make up titans who were the embodiements of lava, volcanoes, ice and tornadoes. None of the titans in actual myth was representing any of those georaphical catastrophies.

3. Megara wasn't a servant of Hades.
In the film, Megara was a woman who selled her soul to Hades to bring back her lover, but her lover was smitten by someone else, so now Megara is forever in Hades' grasp. That's an interesting story guys, but uh, there's a problem with that, what's that problem? Ah yes, THAT NEVER HAPPENED! She was a Theban princess who was given to Hercules because he helpt the Thebans fight against the Orchomenus. He married her because she was a gift. Not a servant to the god of the underworld and precious metals. (Yeah, no one else knows about that for some reason).

4. Philoctetes was not a trainer of heroes.
In the film Philoctetes is a satyr who trained heroes like Odysseus, Achilles, Jason, Perseus and Theseus. Now all the heroes are true mythological characters, but there is another problem. PHILOCTETES IS MADE UP. Yes I know eveyone else in this movie is made up but I mean like a film based on a video game has new characters nobody recognises. Philoctetes in actual myth was a famed archer in the Trojan war. He was mortal! The trainer of the gods was a centaur called Chiron, who was also the son of Kronos. What is Philoctetes doing in this film? Go away Phil!

5. The monsters aren't the ones Hercules fought.
In a cartoon montage, Hercules fights Medusa,a minotaur and a centaur. Er, Medusa was slayed by Perseus, not Hercules. Plus, why was the centaur evil? There friendly creatures, what's the producers' problem with centaurs?

6. The titans weren't released.
Hades meets 3 hags (who for some reason are a cross between the fates and the graeae). They predict that the titans will come back when the planets align. That didn't happen. The titans were trapped in Tartarus were there is no escape. How does the alignment of the planet release the titans any way.

7. Hercules didn't destroy the titans.
This is impossible. How can one demi-god, I repeat, ONE demi-god destroy the titans when in the war between the gods and titans (the titanomachy) was only able to destroy three titans? The gods were able to make punishments but that was all, if it was an army of demi-gods along with mythical creatures defeated the titans that would be believable, but just one!? And it wasn't the titans Hercules defeated, it was the Thracian giants, and it was the demi-gods working along with the gods who defeated the Thracian giants, not just one. He a demi-god, his immortal strength is limited.

So thats the problem (though there is a few more but this is my first blog and I don't want to much complaints). And I know everone hates me because I made a review against Disney's greatest animated film, but aparently, Greece was offended by this film. A Greek news article said "another case of foreigners distorting our history and culture just to suit their commercial interests" so I kind of understand why they are offended. Okay, so you probably hate me but I'm sorry, that's what I think of this film.